How to Pen Pal at PenPal – Our Community Guidelines

Rediscover genuine friendships across the globe – one postcard at a time with PenPal. These community guidelines explain how to pen pal at PenPal and help create a safe and respectful place. Ignoring the guidelines or our Terms of Service could result in your account being deactivated.

Being an understanding pal 😌​

Send your postcard
Once you’re matched, make sure to actually send a postcard as soon as you can. Your pen pal is waiting.

Be nice and inclusive
Be respectful of other cultures, beliefs, ways of thinking, opinions, ages, backgrounds and everything else.

Don’t be TOO nice
Don’t share your personal email or address in your postcards. If you want to talk more easily, you can use our PenPal messenger.

Choose your language
Your safest bet is English. But if you’re matched with someone who speaks your language or a language you know, go for it!

Make the most of your profile
Fill out everything you’d like a pen pal to know about you before they send you a postcard.

Don’t do anything illegal (duh!)
If we notice illegal behavior on our site, your account will be banned, and you could be reported to the authorities.

Write your postcard
Fun postcard topics include… you! Where you’re from and what you do; your dreams, your kids, your hopes, and so on. Also fun: anything mentioned in your pen pal’s profile.

Less fun postcard topics include politics, religion, and money. Please avoid them.

Don’t be annoying
Please don’t solicit, advertise or try to use PenPal as a marketplace. We’re here to connect pals, not sell.

Use your real address 🏡​

One key feature of our service is that we deliver the postcards physically to your home, while keeping your address encrypted for all other users. To make our service work, you need to enter your REAL address (not a fake or incomplete one). We assure you, that your address will be safe with us. And it’s way more fun if your postcard also arrives, isn’t it?

If we notice that your address is not the right one, you will receive a request to change it. As long as your address hasn’t been changed, users won’t be able to send a postcard to you. All accounts with fake addresses will be removed – which we don’t like to do at all – but sending postcards that don’t arrive is just not fun.

Use photos that make others smile 🏞️​

A picture speaks a thousand words – and it’s also a great conversation starter! Go ahead and take a picture of yourself for your profile, so others can get to know you. After that, personalize your postcard with your own photos – a scene from your daily nature walk, your beloved pet, a picture of you pursuing your favorite hobby – whatever shows off a bit of your wonderful self.

However, please do NOT use:

  • Photos of kids on their own – make sure an adult is also there, and that any kids are fully clothed.
  • Photos of people in their underwear, or wearing swimwear indoors. The same goes for shirtless selfies.
  • Politically motivated photos.
  • Graphic hunting photos.
  • Photos including guns.
  • Photos that don’t belong to you.

Receiving your postcard 💌

Your postcard arrived!
Yay! Now make sure to mark it as received and react to the card, so your pen pal knows what you though

Enjoy it…
And feel free to share the experience with your friends!

Using your account ​⚙️​

It’s personal
Use your account for personal and non-corporate use only. Exceptions apply.

We like teaching
If you want to set up profiles for your school class, then save yourself the hassle. Just come straight to us with the request, and we’ll sort you out.

There’s only one of you
So please only make one account. Er, and make sure it is actually you (don’t pretend you’re someone you’re not).

You’re a teen (or a teen at heart)
Please only make an account if you are 13 or older.

Your postal expectations 📬​

The postal system in each country is very different. While in some countries, postcards will come within just a couple of days, others could take weeks. The key takeaway is – don’t stress if your postcard has not been received as quickly as you hoped. To have an idea on how long it can take, have a look at our PenPal delivery times.

But if it takes longer than 30 days, get in contact with us at to have the postcard resent (for free).

Rules to keep our community safe 📋​

  • Community is our highest priority
  • Your postcards should be appropriate for your recipient.
  • Don’t send anything illegal. Don’t spam people or send offensive or sexual messages.
  • Do not spam users with unwanted messages.
  • Do not send or post advertising of any kind.
  • Do not ask for gifts, money, donations or compensation of any kind.
  • Prison Mail is currently not allowed and any such accounts are subject to removal.

Still got questions about how to pen pal at PenPal? Take a look at our FAQ.

Dog that is having a question about how to pen pal at PenPal


  1. I prefer to find foreign pen pals, not my country. How can I be able to do this?

    • Viktoria Reply

      Hi there!
      It’s great that you are looking for foreign pen pals. We believe this is the best way to really get to know people from other countries and their culture. You can just easily create an account on the website. There you will find many foreign pen pals from all over the world looking to make friends. You can even search for similar interests, same age, or specific countries. Have fun on the website and happy penpaling!
      Best wishes,

    • mandy nichole Reply

      Am here from south Africa,we chat get to know better

  2. Is there an expectation for how long I am sending postcards to my pen pal? Am I sending it once a month or however often I want? Also, when I want to stop sending postcards to my pen pal, do I just take the person off my pen pal list and let them know I am going to stop sending them postcards, or what?

    • Viktoria Reply

      Hi Gretchen.
      Thanks for reaching out! How long and how often you are sending postcards to your pen pal is totally up to you. So you are very flexible with how much time you want to spend penpalling. And of course, you can always decide to stop penpalling if you don’t want to continue. You can either just write that to your pen pal in a postcard, delete them off your list, or text them in the chat that you want to stop penpalling.
      Let me know if you have any more questions. I recommend you to make a profile and check out – it’s very easy and self-explanatory!
      Best wishes,
      Vicky from PenPal

  3. Why is there no information on your website about chat or message option?
    I have searched and nothing is coming up except here but I need instructions on how to use this feature, how it works, is my phone number safe, and a lot more questions about this topic

  4. I’m new to & I’m slightly confused! How many people can I like at a time, and how do I know if they have ‘liked’ me in return?

    • Hey Michelle,

      You can add as many pen pals as you like! You’ll know they’ve accepted your request, when you get a notification.

      Hope that helps!

    • Viktoria Reply

      Hi Jackie,
      so far, we don’t have an app, but we are working relentlessly on developing it and are hoping to launch an application soon in the future!

      Happy penpalling,

  5. Am I able to look at a penpal message of a post card that I’ve sent?

    • Hello! Yes, for sure! Head to your inbox to find postcards you’ve already sent!

Write A Comment